The menu has been read, the water has been poured, and you have each said "so…" at the same moment. Every first date has that beat, and the people who handle it well are not cleverer than anyone else. They just have a few good questions ready. Here are 45 first date questions to keep in your back pocket, sorted by how the conversation tends to flow.
How to Use First Date Questions Without Making It an Interview
Questions to ask on a first date work best as a safety net, not a script. Ask one when the conversation dips, listen to the whole answer and give your own in return. A date that feels like a swap of stories goes better than one that feels like a quiz.
- Follow the thread. If an answer sparks something, chase that instead of moving to the next question.
- Answer your own question. Taking a turn shows you are not interrogating.
- Ask follow-ups. "What was that like?" is the best question there is.
Icebreaker Questions for the First Ten Minutes
The first ten minutes are the shakiest, so use first date icebreakers that are light and easy to answer. These ice breaker questions for dating get both of you talking without any pressure.
- How has your day been, really?
- How did you end up living where you do?
- What are you drinking, and why that one?
- What is the best thing you have done this month?
- What is your favourite thing about where you live?
- Any plans for the weekend?
- What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?
- Coffee person, tea person or something else?
- How are you on first dates: nervous, chatty or both?
- Is there a story behind your name?
Questions to Ask on a First Date About Work and Passions
Everyone has a job, but what they actually love is more interesting. These questions get to the second part without sounding like a job interview.
- What do you do, and what do you actually like about it?
- What would you do if money did not matter?
- What was your first job?
- What is the best thing you have learned in the past year?
- What are you proud of that nobody asks about?
- What is a skill you would love to learn?
- What does a perfect day off look like for you?
- What is the most fun project you have worked on?
- Who has influenced you the most?
- What do you do just because you enjoy it?
Fun First Date Conversation Topics
When things are going well, these first date conversation topics add some playfulness. Food, films and travel are the easiest, because everyone has opinions and a story.
- What is your favourite film to rewatch?
- What show are you hooked on right now?
- What is the best meal you have ever had?
- If you could live in any city for a year, which would you pick?
- What is the best trip you have taken, and what made it special?
- If you had a superpower, what would it be?
- Dogs, cats or neither?
- What food could you eat every single day?
- What is your most-played song of the year?
- What is a childhood memory you still love?
Getting-to-Know-You Questions
Save these for when the nerves have settled. They are a little more personal, and they tell you whether the two of you want similar things.
- What makes you feel most like yourself?
- What do your friends say you are like?
- What are you looking for at the moment?
- What is a lesson that took you a while to learn?
- What does a good relationship look like to you?
- What are you excited about this year?
- What do people usually misunderstand about you?
- How do you recharge after a long week?
- What is the kindest thing someone has done for you?
- What is one thing on your bucket list?
Questions for a First Video Date
A first video date has its own quirks. The pauses feel longer, you cannot share a menu and everyone is a little more self-conscious about the camera. Use what is on screen as your icebreaker.
- What is the best view from where you are sitting right now?
- Can you give me a quick tour of the most interesting thing in the room?
- What would we be doing right now if we were in the same city?
- If we were meeting for coffee, what would you order?
- When should we do this again, and should it be in person or on video?
If you want to know how a first video call works from the start, the page on video dating explains how to set one up and keep it relaxed. And when you would like something to do as well as talk, the virtual date ideas give you twenty options.
Topics to Skip on a First Date
A few subjects are better left for later: detailed talk about exes, income, politics and plans for children. They are not forbidden. They are just heavy, and heavy topics land better once you know how the other person laughs. If one comes up on its own, follow their lead and keep it short.
What to Do When the Conversation Stalls
A quiet moment is not a failed date. Take a sip, smile and pick a question from the lists above. If the mood needs lifting, a flirty question or two helps, and the post with flirty questions to ask has fifty of them.
If you are nervous before the date even starts, you may find the list of questions to ask your crush a gentler place to warm up.
First Date Questions FAQ
What are good questions to ask on a first date?
Open-ended ones that invite a story, such as "What is the best thing you have done this month?" or "What are you excited about this year?". Mix light questions with a couple of personal ones, and swap in your own answers so it feels like a chat.
How many first date questions should I prepare?
Three to five is plenty. You will rarely use them all, and a conversation that follows its own thread is better than one that follows a list. Keep them in your head as a safety net.
What are good first date icebreakers for a video date?
Ask about what is in view: the mug, the room, the view from the window. They are easy to answer, and they tell you something about the person without feeling like an interview.
What should I avoid asking on a first date?
Skip detailed questions about exes, income, politics and plans for children until you know each other better. If something comes up naturally, follow the other person’s lead rather than pressing.
Want to practise before the real thing? Try video dating on BlushCall: meet someone new face to face, free to start and with no sign-up needed to try.